hmm, where to start... well first i guess would have to be that i can't use my scanner on this awesome/stupid computer! so i might just take pictures of em then post (so hopefully soon you all will see my new work). still waiting to get into the air force (trying again for those of you that don't know, gotta do something with my life).

my grandfather is doing better, or as good as for someone who is paralyzed from the waist down and then later got throat cancer (forgot name). the kemo worked btw! then just recently went in for surgery for a bed sore. so now he has to stay off his butt for a month. hmm, why do bad things happen to great people? i can already tell you, when my grandparents leave this earth to go to heaven, iam going to have a hard time with it... cause of them iam alive. i love my parents very much, but my grandparents where there for me.

i really can't complain about life right now, even though all the bad things that have happened to me, i just have to go on, keep fighting. i get depressed every now and then, cry a little, but in a word in which we all are moving to fast...a sudden stop can really open your eyes.

i really should not say this cause now my mom is following me, lol, but sometimes the pain gets to much for me. MY LOCKS ARE BROKEN!!! i think i might be slipping back to my old self, and it really scares me, i really don't like that person! after my girlfriend broke up with me, i realized how broken i really am. iam going to be alone for a while, and whats weird, its fine. its safer for me, and everyone else. hell, i made it by my self the start of my life...ill be fine for the rest. don't worry, and never be sorry towards me. iam the one who should be sorry. i have yet failed once more!

hmm, it sure feels good to tell you, *pets computer* you always have a night light on for me